The eve of back to school always brings many emotions. After a year and a half of disability leave, I am grateful. Grateful for better health, time, and a stress free Time. Thankful for slow mornings with my gal, thankful for new friends, thankful for time alone, thankful for time, thankful for room mommming, thankful for my gal and a nice return home for Noah. Did I expect to miss it- yes. Did I expect tears and today's bedtime- no.
I find that going back to work is unsettling. I thrived under disabilities' advantages. Time with nancy and time to explore the world as a stay at home parent. It's wonderful for a girl like me. Did accomplishments run far- yes. The only one not met is the ability to run 3 miles with no problem. That, however, can be fixed starting tomorrow as tonight I am tired, wined up, and tired.
Time at home gave me family time, Nick time, health, a sense of calm that is hard to find under stress and responsibility of a full time job. I loved it and am sooooo grateful for it.
On the eve of returning back to work, I find the tears easy to produce as Natalia goes to bed and I think of the 5:45 am alarm to fit in the gym.
Blah, blah, blah... I am concerned entering full time employment again. I am concerned of the effect hard work has on my family, my health. However, I trust that looking back on this time I will be happy to know that I had it and happy to know that I am again able to make it work alongside the ability to be with Noah and friends in a work place, contributing environment.
It's all good, however, I hate to see it go. It was a blessed time.
Change makes things different and allows you to think and react in new ways. There is a process to everything and this will be our spot to process our new digs on this new thing called "The World Wide Web".