Lost in a World of Thoughts- a semi full confessional
I look at this picture and think... nope not mad, just tired of being a certain way.
Okay, they say that there was this Jesus. Possible. They say that he died to honor our wretched selves/sins. Possible, hugely compassionate. So I think this year, there are things to change and I think I am going to honor the idea of a Jesus giving it all to the better good- to Mother Earth, as Natalia calls it.
Spring enters the air and I think that work is coming up in just a mere two seasons, I wonder what have I done with this time? Jesus does relate, just wait. Let me make a list first.
1. Crohn's seems in control- not by doctor orders but by me. Surgeries, hospitals, prednisone, setons, etc. feel like they might be at an end. Success. Expecting another ball to drop, but don't think this is going to happen in relation to the Crohner anytime before going back to work. Phew.
2. The beast is not quiet, however, its number is in the range. Reluctant success.
3. Volunteer time at Natalia's school. Awesome success.
4. Time alone. Awesome success.
5. No stress. Hooplah!
6. Time with Nick, that can't be taken back and full enjoyed and appreciated. It was a rare moment which I hope can be again repeated and moved into this Spring.
7. Monday night group
8. No stress. Hooplah!
9. Morning Natalia time, beyond awesome!
10. Rest
Of course, there are things like removal from the annoying, attitudinal shifts and the like, however, it is still time to keep the change going. So here is what is a struggle for me. A luxury struggle, if you will, thus, even more worthy of change. I love the sweets in any form- cookie, brownie, or alcohol. I wont give up the cocktail, just like I won't give up the morning coffee, yet, I can give up the sweets, if I just made the decision. So to put a #11 on my list.. I officially remove sweets from my daily, yes, daily routine. If Jesus could die for a conviction, the least I could do is remove sweets as my conviction. Sweets vs. death are not even comparable, however, I put it into my feeble perspective of me. I eat a lot of them. I eat a lot of them on disability and do a lot less with their provisions. I am not sure if it is only the beast talking... but for Lent I plan on giving up the sweets. It satisfies the beast by disciplinary requirements,and my tight jeans that I cannot afford to replace. However, I also know, its a health improvement and a behavioral/craving challenge. Sugars are a major inflammatory agent and this last stage of health improvement would welcome this. I will be returning to work in the Fall and hope to be in tip top shape in order to enjoy and excel at the position.
Long story short.. for Lent... (I continue to use the three dots as anticipatory suspense), I will no longer eat sweets, and will do it in the honor of.. if Jesus could suffer that much the least I can do is give up the cupcake and the peanut butter cup! Here we go starting earlier that Wednesday, just because tomorrow is Monday. I use this blog to keep me acCountable to the cloud. Welcome to 2015!
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