Now Where's That Bill, Marriage License, form, and such?!

Sometimes I wake up at 1 or 3 am and decide time to get things done. Obviously, these supposed THINGS keep me awake and disturb restful slumber, so why not get up and deal with 'em. After all, at that I hour, I suppose it officially qualifies as "tomorrow". So yesterday I find myself wondering about forms for the Thursday home study. I know they are in order and I know everything is on the up and checked, yet, I just can't relax about it. It seems and feels like a majorly big deal and I can't help but think that this event leads us closer to a total and complete life changing experience- becoming parents. Feeling this way makes for sleepless nights and makes me wonder, have I done enough research, preparation, cleaning, cooking, thinking, reflecting, preparing, and did I mention preparing to articulate how important and excited this is to me and Noah. Is my haircut presentable, is our skin youthful enough to not make us seem to old, is our house welcoming enough... the list goes on and on and on. To feel as if Thursday is my day to present myself/ourselves to Buehla's biological parent(s) is daunting and exciting, scary and thrilling and super fun! It puts us that much closer to her/him. I know we will pass, but to talk about me comes difficulty- especially lately.
So... I find ways to distract myself. What better way is there than to organize a bunch of paid bill receipts and search for that one business card with Liv's number on the back? This is our photograph of the chaos and the dichotomy that continues to be me- so picky and particular, yet so messy and disorganized. Somehow it all gets done.
Anyhow, today, we turned to a long walk in the woods as our mode of stress relief and found ourselves surrounded by the most weird duck event ever! Not quite an organized pre adoption support group, but pretty darn wonderfully effective. First they sat in the sun patches on the snow and ice, watching the path and the passer by'ers. Then suddenly they line up and start moving full speed ahead to one of the neighborhood houses that bump up to the woods. Suddenly 75+ ducks are marching behind one fearless mallard. At some unspoken moment, they all decide to liftoff and Noah and I are stuck in the middle of a swarm of ducks, flapping wings just over our heads. We could feel the energy of their wings move the air around us. It was totally cool and totally insanely exhilarating. I just stood there with my gloved hand over my open mouth, giggling as each one dodged mine and Noah's head. Super gorgeous!